By Bob Chabot

Jorge was to be my client for 6 months. His early life had been filled with trauma and neglect, and he was witness to considerable domestic violence. As he grew older, he was becoming more violent himself, hitting teachers, peers, his younger half-brother and his step-father. Jorge had been in residential treatment before and was getting better at managing his impulses; but upon his recent return from a psychiatric hospitalization, he had molested his 4 year-old half brother – the first time he ever done something like this.

The first time he entered my office, Jorge noticed the guitar and asked if he could play it.

You see, by night I’m just your typical musician, offering my songs to audiences in nightclubs and coffee houses around New England. But by day, I’m a psychotherapist, working with very troubled children and their families in an intensive residential treatment setting.

The kids I work with are often fairly non-verbal and the younger children respond best through imaginative play. As they grow into their teens, however, play becomes a less effective outlet; for the non-verbal teen in residential treatment this can be a problem, particularly if they sense no other outlet for expression.

Given a framework of six months, I was hopeful that I could help Jorge to figure out why he does what he does. If I got that far, maybe I could help him apologize to his younger brother and to his family.

I told him he could play my guitar.

GUITAR THERAPY…

Jorge enjoyed the sound and the feel of strumming, the vibrations of the strings. He picked up the guitar in each of our early sessions. While he did not have the patience to learn a few simple chords, he was perfectly willing to let me strum, while he sang.

Over time, Jorge allowed me to help him examine his feelings toward his brother. He somewhat reluctantly admitted to feeling jealous. His little brother was cute and got lots of attention from his mother. His brother had grown up in his mother’s more stable home while Jorge, on the other hand, had lived for three years in hospitals and in residential treatment. Yes, maybe it was jealousy that had fueled the mistreatment of his brother.

HOW THE MUSIC MAKING BEGAN…

I picked up the guitar… “Jealousy”. I sang it. He sang it. I’m not sure which of us came up with the rest of that line:

“Jealousy… made a fool out of me”

Soon Jorge was singing it over and over.

The next week we wrote a verse, which included the lines,

“I don’t know why I did what I did

Hope I didn’t mess up that kid…”

He sang that for verse for awhile, each time he came to session. Sometimes he actually wailed, as if he were expressing a lifetime of emotion, all the feelings that had led to that one impulsive act… all the anger… the pain… all the sadness, and the rage…

In the following weeks, we wrote another verse, about remorse and the wish to be forgiven. The thoughts were Jorge’s, and I would help to fit them into the structure of a song.

Since Jorge and I finished writing this song, several things have happened. He was able to give more careful consideration to what the experience must have been like for his younger brother. After several weeks of practice, he was able to apologize to his brother in a sincere and meaningful way. Furthermore, in a separate session, Jorge was able to talk to his mother about his profound feelings of jealousy.

WHY THE SONGWRITING WORKED…

Writing songs works with these children on a number of levels. First, they can pick the topic. Of course, not all children are ready to take on an issue like Jorge was. In truth, most of us would not choose to write about our most challenging struggles. One boy, when asked what he wanted to write about, said “nothing”. I proceeded to help him write a song about nothing. It broke the ice.

The process of songwriting involves naming an issue, going back to see what the trouble is, explaining the trouble, and then searching for some hope, some resolution, some forward movement. The process involves slowing oneself down. Jorge was ready to record the song as soon as we had a line, and then again when he had his first verse! “No,” I told him, “there is more to say…”

After a full song had been composed, we went back over the lines to see if we had said things clearly enough. The process was painfully slow for Jorge, who struggles with impulsivity and attentional difficulties. But piece by piece, session by session, he was able to do it. Now we are recording the song.

These children have struggles most of us can only imagine. To sing of the struggle is to have power over it. And I can help them find their voices through music.